In a recent poll conducted by the University of Fatties, random Fluffy Queen stalkers were asked the following question : What is the number one body issue you have?
And because I have the reach of Justin Bieber; 7 people responded. But hey- that's all I needed anyway
1. Mid-Section/ Tummy/ Lonjas/ Love handles/ Extra Belly Padding.
Remedy: Industrial strength whale bone girdle, such as this one
which is all the current antiquated fad.
2.Thunder Thighs/ Donkey Thighs/ Big Ol' Thighs
Remedy: This right here
I believe this one also comes in lace, in case you need lingerie for the boudoir.
4. Fat Nose.
Remedy: This one requires exercise ( you will have to wiggle your nose like Samantha in Bewitched) or take the easy way out: Surgery.
I'm wrong for this I know. RIP. Michael, please don't come back to haunt me.
5. Flabby Guns/ Flarms/ Double Wave Arms/ Bat Wings.
6. And I quote "I am too damn fine for my own good"
Remedy: Toss your damn hair.
Just picture me tossing my new red wig.
I obviously have stock in girdles.
PS. The next two weeks is Lingerie Loves Your Curves Charity Blog-a-thon. And this post, at its root, was meant for you to realize that a girdle will not solve our body issues, but a hair toss and love will. Just Saying.
If you want more information on the Blog-a-thon or would like to donate go here for more information.
PPS Last year's post got me 11th on About Curves Top 50 Self Acceptance Bloggers List. Yes, this is me boasting.