I Got Beauty Queen Problems

Soooo... I have ...like ... a MAJOR...announcement to make....I'm in love with a stripper...Remember that song? I used to sing it all the freaking time because I'm classy. Actually, I have been scouted by the very beautiful Helen Troncoso aka Ms.New York Belleza Latina 2011 to be a Beauty Queen... (and when I say scouted, I mean I stalked her, and hung on her every word until she said...You Should Think About Leaving Me Alone Already...which in my head translated into she wants me to be a Beauty Queen..cuz what else could you decipher from that?).

But, really why wouldn't she want to coach me when Frank's Divas are imitating me?

Beyonce Impersonator at Frank's Divas..She Even had cheeseburgers stuffed in her bra.L-O-V-E  (photo credit:Ana Lydia Monaco..excuse the fuzzines but that bitch was moving so fast )

 Sorry about the Tranny side track... but you all know how I love Trannies ( including Wendy Williams)... I literally used my inhaler like twice during that show.( And ...much to my conference colleagues enthusiasm it was like the first time I shut my front door the whole weekend.."ni pio" not a freakin peep...other than the pump of my inhaler).

Moving on to Beauty Queen Problems and looking like Beyonce is one. I got to thinking about how fun, exciting...and best of all how CATTY doing a Beauty Pageant could be. Now, the last time I was involved in a pageant was about 6 months ago when I served as fake make-up artist to one of my besties (see here) , and I did not get to see 1st hand any real cattiness ( bummer right?). But this time..if all else fails....I could be the Queen Cat and start some serious drama ( and that excites me in ways you just do not know... I mean they are already going to hate me because I am gorgeous).On a serious note, I also thought this was a great way to bring awareness to my platform of Ending Chancla Abuse ...perhaps it's because I am Latina ...but no one should walk around deathly afraid of someone reaching for a shoe.... just saying.( And on another side note...I think my talent will be walking in fancy chanclas)

Even though I have not decided what pageant I will be entering...I wanted to share with you, my adoring public, my checklist for realizing you have Beauty Queen Problems:

1. You wake up glowing ( tragic I know)

2.You have the hardest time deciding what crown to wear.( You know how I hate being Flashy)

3. Being Wonderful 

4.You answer every question with "If I could end world hunger...."

5. Trannies start to impersonate you

Here is a pic of my Coach and the Beauty Queens in Training.....because the royal wave does not come naturally.

Sujeiry, Larissa, Helen..and the Fluffy Queen herself
( FYI Isn't my pageant coach Hawwt..talk about plastering my face on her body for my vision board)

Doing Her Beauty Queen Wave while wondering if someone will really crown me Donut Queen... Tootles

Cynthia..her Royal Highness in Training

PS... Have you Liked my FB page yet???? It's posted on the top Right hand corner... I spent all of 20 hours on what should have been a 5 second project... so please like.... before you make me eat my feelings.