When I was eleven years old, I belonged to a community cheer group, don't scoff....it's not that I'm cheery...I'm just that good of an actress. Anyways, as part of this group we had to march in a Easter parade in little white "tight on me loose on others" booty shorts as I call them. Now, when I started the group I knew the day would come when I would have to march two miles in shorts that might possibly split while I did the wiggle wiggle.....this did not stop 11yr old fluffy me from eating chocolate up until three days before the parade. What stopped me from eating a well balanced meal of chocolate and ice cream? Paralyzing fear that my shorts would actually split down the middle in front of my hubba hubba crush, who had informed me would be there.....so I went on a three day diet and exercise boot camp of sit-ups ( the only real exercise I knew how to do...not realizing it was my arse that was the problem not my non existent tummy at the time). And, though my shorts did not split ( thank you girdle), I didn't exactly lose the 20 lbs I urgently needed to get rid of at the time.
Today I am 29, and 3 days away from my Latina Lifestyle Bloggers Conference in Vegas.....and I have decided to put myself on a diet to lose 50 lbs. So you see MOM....I'm not as childlike as you say...my standards are like more unrealistic...hello....if that isn't grown-up I don't know what is!
But really procrastination and this cupcake addiction have really gotten the best of me this time. Hopefully all the ladies at the conference have size perception problems and think my size 22 arse is really a size 2...How many times do I have to tell you all...I'm Delusional....and ok with it...because I am.
I'm actually super excited about this week, and even if I only lose like 49 lbs by Thursday I will be a happy fluffy.This will be my first bloggers conference ever....the excitement I feel about being some kind of virgin again is not normal, but I have been looking forward towards this conference.... for like ever ( code word for I don't remember when I found out about it)! I didn't think I was going to be able to go because the Universe was playing with my money emotions... hence the real reason behind my crash dieting... but thanks to Ana Lydia Monaco (founder of the Latina Lifestyle Bloggers group) who put in place a volunteer program for some of the girls to help pay for the cost of the ticket...I'm going to Vegas Baby! ( FYI there are still tickets available if your interested...and some people still need roommates..so if you have the time and money come and meet the famous Fluffy Girl....I will be giving out autographs... free I suppose...tips are appreciated)
And, Yes...my arse might get bigger while I'm there (read here for my last Vegas trip) but this time it will be from all the muscles I'm building ....by backing my thang up and getting low - low- low-low......while I stuff my face with all the you can eat buffets.....I've come to terms with the inevitable. But it's ok, because Macy's will be there...in case I need to go up in a dress size... and so will Sensa Weightloss System...uh ehm the real reason I'm going...lets hope they pick me to be one of their less fluffy bloggers to give them a try.
But seriously anyone ever lost 50lbs in 3 days....or anyone want to donate to my quickie liposuction fund?
Till the my next fluffy escapade...tootles!
PS. If you are a Latina Blogger who writes about Fashion, Art, Entertainment,Literature....or Fluff Loss like me..etc..join the group...you will never meet a more loyal group of stalkers EVER!