I had a dream the other night where I was watching TV and this show called the Biggest Winner came on TV where all the skinny tramps where binging on doughnuts in order to become the more socially accepted bigger person and win $250,000. But, since I was tired of all those reality shows exploiting the skinny skanks, I flipped the channel to some low budget movie that was playing, where they had some overly masculine tomboy skinny tramp who didn’t know how to act like a lady and could only catch a man by having a super duper personality… because really she was repulsive, and what man would give her a second look. What a snore and very unlikely story. Everyone knows the hawt guy always ends up with someone that looks like this
Super Delicious, Right? ---What? You don’t have dreams where I am the ultimate sex symbol? Odd…
No, but really how awesome would it be if people like me in all their fluffy glory were considered the ultimate sex symbols, instead of the geeky nice/ bully tomboy always playing third wheel?
Anyways the dream got me thinking about how much of my self-acceptance is skewed by TV. Why is it that I feel I need to lose 100lbs in order to make the skanky bitch jealous, why can’t I do it As Is? The answer…everywhere I turn, tells me there is something wrong with me.
I go to the dept. store, and I have to go to the back to find my clothes or go to a special store all together.
I turn on the TV, and there are only two shows I can think of that embrace the Curvy Woman ( Mike & Molly and Drop Dead Diva). Whose plots still don’t convince me it’s ok to be “fat”. I mean really, in one the two main characters are dieters who meet at Overeaters Anonymous, and in the other the main character is like some former super model that’s revived into a formerly plane Jane fat girl body. In other words it took a skinny girl to bring life to the fluffy.
I go to the supermarket and I am bombarded with diet foods, that really aren’t all that healthy and magazines teasing me with losing 10 pounds in 3 days with some photo shopped woman on the cover.
I look at my very much average size 10 seventeen year old sister, who feels she is too fat because she has a “donut hole” for a belly. (Mind you my belly has surpassed the “donut hole” phase...let’s just say the hills are alive with the sound of music)
And then there is society, who many times is surprised by my beauty, and who often feels the need to tell me that in spite of being a “big girl”…I’m really pretty.
Now, luckily I do not suffer from low self esteem… I mean the only thing my esteem is lacking is a stage with bright lights to be complete. However, this does not mean I am unscarred by what society and media portray me as… someone not capable of being considered 100% beautiful. This message is not only given to our fluffies but also to our super skanks like my sister who is a year younger than me, barely weighs 100lbs, and is continuously told she needs to gain a little bit more weight but not too much ( really that bitch got cursed with the metabolism I was suppose to have..I hate her …she gets everything… and No I’m not sorry for stealing her Barbie dolls).
This dream really made me analyze the purpose behind my escapade, and If I was doing this A)to feel better about myself or B) prove to society I could be like them ( whatever them is…I’m not exactly sure). Or C) My Health
Anyways, after my 5 seconds of soul searching (because I’m deep),I came to the conclusion that although I am doing this to feel more vain better, I will always think I’m a drop it like its hawt tranny at any size… and whether I ever reach my goal size or not.. I will always be able to give the skanks a run for their money, even though society may not think me a worthy competitor.
Because no matter what the TV says: beauty is not generic and doesn’t always look like a 5’10 blonde supermodel, sometimes it looks like a 5’6 fluffylicious Latina with uneven boobs ( yes I said it.. so suck on it) like this one
Because no matter what the TV says: beauty is not generic and doesn’t always look like a 5’10 blonde supermodel, sometimes it looks like a 5’6 fluffylicious Latina with uneven boobs ( yes I said it.. so suck on it) like this one
xoxoxo
the hawtest Fluffy not on TV
This post is in honor of the Lingerie Loves Your Curves Blogathon : A Size Acceptance Charity Drive. Click on the Link below to find out more about Fat Acceptance so that I can cut my dieting short....this fluffy needs some Ice Cream to cool down. And also find ways within your own cirlce to accept people as they are..... no" in spites" allowed.
Hi Cynthia,
ReplyDeleteIndeed, i do have some dreams like this, were i'm the most beautiful woman in the earth, my mother always said to me - all woman are beautiful and unique in their own way- i think it's true, but TV works so hard to make us believe the opposite. I was a slave of diets, but my hubby noticed that i was so unhappy fighting against my weight that he taught me to stop, he told me that he didn't mind a few rolls here and there, so i did it, i stopped dieting, and the odd part was that i started losing some weight. Maybe that happened because i dropped the social pressure, i don't know, but i don't care anymore because i accept my self in any form.
xo
Ruth
Cynthia!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I too have uneven boobs-go figure (AH!) lol and am too a member of the fluffylicious latina :) It was great to see how you had the confidence of a skinny ich and posted a picture of yourself in a bathing suit. I just started a blog and did because Its been almost 10 years since ive worn a skirt, dress, bathing suit, or anything that shows more than the fact that i grew two boobies because i have two awsome children. Id love to reach out and also have readers as myself and educate our latinas to prove that its okay to be who your truly are. Being a latina is tough shit! lol if you dont fit into the perfect mold, not only laid out by the american women but the latina women, your "cheeseburga!". I hope to keep reading and be inspired by you everyday. feel free to share any feedback : buscandotacones.blogspot.com
Sincerely,
Buscando Tacones
You know I was just like you 1 & 1/2 years ago before I started the Belly Fat Cure. I never thought I was pretty and hated everybody else. I never thought I could do it either.
ReplyDeleteI am living proof that if you REALLY want to lose weight you CAN!!
I have lost 86lbs and went from a size 20 to a now size 8.
I still look down at myself and think my thighs are fat, weird huh?
Stop being mad at everybody else. Just decide that you WILL do it and you Will!! But do it for YOU and nobody else.
You are beautiful no matter what size you are.
Have a great day :-)
@ Ruth... I love that your hubby loves your rolls...truthfully I've gotten quite fond of mines as well..they add character to this landscape...and Congrats on the fluff loss!
ReplyDelete@Tita, I love what you are doing with your blog! You're right it is tough cookies being a Latina ( I say this because I like to play the dramatic victim) But really , I think it's hard to be a Woman in today's society (period), where Media's thoughts are everywhere you go.
Growing up I didn't watch much TV, Except for I LOVE LUCY, and really the only social pressure I got was that my bangs need to be higher via more aquanet... but when I look at my two youngest sisters..they do not know a world where they aren't told it's ok to be brown as long as it's a spray tan, or uber white as long as your a vampire, or that its ok to be fat as long as you carry it all in the booty. Really sometimes I step back and wonder how much of the public persona they share with me..is really them.... Truth is It's ok that all the media portrays is one type of look..but it's not ok that as a society we are accepting it as truth.
@ Rosalie you really and always continue to be my motivation. I don't think that I'm mad at anyone..well only at my sister..because really it's not fair, lol. I think it's more of me really coming to acceptance..and really owning that at the end of the day this fluff loss does have to be for me ( like you say). Because, If I don't think I can give the Skinny Girl Mafia a run for their money at this size..I'm not sure I will feel I will be able to do it at any size.... By the way I totally understand what you are talking about when you mention your thighs..except its the opposite for me..I don't see cottage cheese, I see the firmness of my college years.
Cynthia, I love how honest, raw, bold, beautiful you are.
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh and think...
Your new fan,
Carrie (who always has been flaca, but the metabolism is currently beginning to laugh very loudly at her...)
Such a beautiful post babe, and all so true! And your rocking that leopard one piece! A suit like that needs real curves like ours!!! :)
ReplyDeletewaituntilthesunset.blogspot.com