I know this might come as a surprise to many of you, being that you see me as a calm gentle shy creature, but I make a grumpy, loud, ass of a sick patient. Please deal with your shock... I'll give you a second.
For the past four days I have gone from feeling a little sniffly to downright can't get out of the bed because I have fever dizziness. The first day of my life altering illness, I was a big girl about the whole thing. I sucked it in, didn't let anyone know my throat felt scratchy and that I was on the verge of death... I just went with the flow (Hey, if the Ebola virus is going to hit me and give me that Salma Hayek body. I didn't want to scare it off with medicine...or sympathy...I know beauty takes pain). Anyways, in spite of my agony tolerance being high ( and by high, I mean a 2 on a 100 point scale), I had to give in the next morning , and I consider morning 12 am est... which happens to be 9 pm my time in California.
So the hubby, who still hasn't mastered the art of dealing with sick Cynthia , which by the way is a fine balance of leaving me alone and groveling at my feet, began the routine of
force hand feeding me medicine. And before you judge me and start calling me a baby, did I mention it was his entire fault I'm on the verge of death? Because it is...he's the 'I need hugs' type of person when he's sick..and because I didn't want to hear him whine I'm a pleaser. I hugged his virus infected ass, the least he could do was curtsy at my feet, restrain my limbs, and pry my mouth open to shove medicine down my throat. And, knowing that I'm a pain in the ass when near death, he fed me the good stuff...I mean a three medicine combo to knock my pleasant self out for hours at a time.
Really, I didn't mind... that was until, in the midst of lucidity I noticed three bottles, and because I'm on a weight reduction plan ( fancy talk for fluffy bitch on a starvation diet), I began to read nutritional labels for caloric, sugar, carb information. Did you know that those pharmaceutical companies do not list that information on those bottles? And since I was running a fever, I thought of them as water, where everything was listed as 0, and downed my next dosage (I was all alone at this point. No need for dramatics). Now, when I'm sick I eat what I crave. I don't care how unhealthy it is, my body wants to feel good... and what makes my throat feel good? Ice cream. And since all I'm having in my system is water (0 calories, 0 carbs, 0 sugars), Nyquil ( which I thought was another big fat 0), and Ice Cream ( really don't want to talk about facts here)....I thought there was no harm.
Of course, I couldn't leave well enough alone, and after 14 hours of sleep I woke up at 2am this morning (Cali time) and began to research information on cough medicine, because it bugged me. Guess what I found????? Those bastards are like a serving of an unhealthy snack for each dosage.
Before I begin my rant , let me preface my diet, I currently follow the Belly Fat Cure, which is no more than
15 grams of sugar and 6 servings of carbs (each serving being no more than 20 grams) and in addition I try to stick to under a 1700 calorie diet ( on a good day. I work out a lot so I have to compensate here and there).
That being said one dosage of NyQuil cost me the following: 19g carbs, 13 g Sugars, and 93 calories. The recommended dosage is four times a day. Basically, this is the caloric allowance for anyone who is following the HCG diet. AND, this is just one of the medications I took.
So naturally at 2:30 am in the morning, with no regards to the fact that the inconsiderate man who force fed me sugar sleeping next to me had to work early in the morning...I started chucking bottles at him...not just cough medicine bottles, but vitamin bottles as well ( because those bitches have calories and sugars too..and he's been on my lard ass about taking that shit). I think he has sunk to a new low. I mean overmedicating me so that I might possibly slip into a comma is one thing...but unkowingly making me FATter to fulfill whatever sick hidden chubby fantasy he has is another!
Needless to say... I'm resorting to letting this life threatening illness take it's nautral course and exit my body ungracefully on it's own terms (serves him right). Sadly, this is my end of the week report, No excerising has been done because my body aches and I can't walk three steps with out sneezing, coughing, or faking faint. My diet has apparently consisted of nothing but sugar, thank you Love of my life. The END...please tune in next week when I talk about Sugar Detox.
|This is a reenactment of ME..in no way was a camera harmed in the taking of this photo.|
P.S. Please help fulfill a fluffy girls last wish before dying ungracefully from the common cold and nominate me for a Blog by Latinas Award HERE. Please enter me under health (hold your laughter, i'm serious) and any other category you feel I'm worthy... Although I'm aiming for Health/Fitness. Reminder enter me as such Fat Girl Escapades http://www.fatgirlescapading.blogspot.com/ . Thank You!