So this weight release is not happening fast enough for me. I’m like on month two, and I was thinking I would of have been down to at least a size 0 worrying about “oh no, I’m getting too skinny” type shit. Instead I’m making sure I say Release instead of lose, because The Secret has me paranoid that my body is thinking it will be sending out a search party into the candy store for that “lost” pound, type shit. I walk .75 miles (so says my pedometer) with my fury daughter Chaplin, before she poops out and makes me carry her the rest of the remaining 4.25 miles of my torture walk ( I think of it as built in 3.5 lbs. strength training time).
I yoga, I Reiki my fat cells, wear a damn girdle that is supposed to re-shape my lard while cutting off my oxygen supply, I deal with my emotions the grown up way( Just let me have this one today), and I only ate half of that cupcake the other day (ok, two thirds…I still have guilt about it) I’ve even tried meditation twice, given myself a limpia (a superstitious tradition in which, for my case, I killed two chickens via my local Stater Bros, cracked an egg over my head, and then chanted in tongue what I thought was some fat release whatever….turns out it might have been a rain chant by the sight of the moist ground yesterday morning).
Quite frankly, if I hadn’t announced my Weight Release Endeavors to the whole freaking world...I would have quit already. I would have blamed whatever weight gain I would have been experiencing on some illness, the climate change, or on the fact that you must be seeing things….Change your damn prescription already. But, because I made this grand announcement, and was initially successful (I chronically suffer from peaking early, then losing interest), I now have to become this hooker heel wearing skinny tramp that has to hold on to trees during Santa Ana high wind season. And truthfully, because my body is not cooperating with me at the moment….I’m left to come up with half-brained Lucy type schemes to re-jump this weight release.
This is my list from last night:
Any Other ideas before I chop off my left butt cheek (I think that's the bigger one right?)
you know that's funny that you talked about this today. Because I was gonna make another video about this kind of thing today.
ReplyDeleteI can help if you want - we can talk on the phone. Let me know - message me on facebook. :-)
lol..Do the video..You and I are usually on the same wavelength..except you beat me to the punch.I'm messaging you FB in a bit.
ReplyDeleteCynthia - I am in the same boat - and seriously thought my little sister and I were the only ones that look at our fat and think about how "easy" it would be to just cut it off with a knife. It sounds so mentally ill we never mentioned it to anyone but each other. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI have been getting exercise each day, cutting portions, not eating even when I REALLY, REALLY want to. I've meditated, thought positive, announced to everyone I know that I'm DOING THIS THING ALL THE WAY. I've been on every diet out there, I count calories, I've had my thyroid and everything else checked --- (all healthy) --- yet here I am down the same 5 lbs --- FIVE lbs - that's it --- and if I quit for even a day - they will come back real quick.
I don't know the answer. I'm beyond frustrated but I'm just going to keep going. At this point, I'm starting to NEED the exercise or I feel antsy anyway - and I don't feel happy after I eat the junk food, (though I definitely feel happy WHILE eating it.) ... Eventually something's got to give?
{Abrazos}
This is such a boring, cliche answer--and God knows I need to do a better job of doing this myself--but CONSISTENT healthy eating and exercise. Not just "spurts" of the two, but just a change in lifestyle. I know, easier said than done. But honestly, just old fashioned "discipline and determination"...
ReplyDeleteI'm the naturally skinny bitch that everyone hates because I don't know what it's like to seriously struggle with my weight (but I'm slowly getting there...my metabolism is slowing down w/ age)...so unfortunately I cannot share an amazing story of personal success in any kind of physical transformation; HOWEVER, I'd like to offer my husband's experience: He lost around 50 lbs. in the span of a year and started doing it by following P90X. He never missed a day. After that, he just started doing other stuff like running, rowing, lifting, and it's just part of his normal routine now. He makes me feel like crap.
@ latinaish- perhaps we are mentally ill... It's something we always joke around in my family about. I am definitely the biggest female in my family ( excluding older aunts and mom), and they always make comments like give me some of that ass..and I go to the kitchen grab a knife bend over and hand it to them...if only they weren't all neat freaks and worried about how to get rid of blood stains...my worries would be over.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know what you mean..I get no satisfaction from junk food affter the fact ( the during process is bliss). Something will give we just have to keep with it...I'm going to light candles for us tonight.....Ask the Skinny gods why they hate us soo..
@ Violinista- P90x is hell on earth. I do some of the videos once in a while...I usually can't get out of bed the next day..so I give them breaks.
I think what actually is happening is that I'm doing too much excercise...No.. seriously..sounds funny right? I think I have to concentrate more on my eating habits and take it easy on the excercise ( I'm still losing inches..just the weight isn't on the same page)