Fluffy Tips For Salsa Dancing The Weight Off

Being a stereotypical spicy Latina, the only way I know how to come out of my depression (without alcohol or churros, of course) is to dance. And I'm not talking about feeding my Just Dance 2 addiction (which btw.... I'm awesome...more to come on this at a later time). I'm talking about bachata (the dance of dislocating your hip), salsa (the dance of intimate passion, so make sure to brush your teeth), and merengue (every fluffy girl’s nightmare, seriously merengue musicians: are 10 minute songs at an escalating pace really necessary?). Dancing has been one my biggest body transformation tools. Sure I haven't lost 100 pounds yet. But I've lost inches and really I'm ok with illusions and pretenses.

Here are my fluff girl tips for dancing for inch loss and may be even weight loss:

1. Wear a cute dress with Mommy approved underwear (trust me after an incident were I ended up on the floor and with my dress over my head, you want full coverage, clean, no lacey kind of undies). Tropical music is about feeling sexy on the dance floor, not comfortable, so dress to make others salivate, and to be able to distract people from the large amounts of sweat coming from your body.

2. Wear high but comfortable shoes. High heels work your calf muscles and that thing behind you called an ass... it's an extra workout; ever wonder how Latina's get their booty? I've been wearing heels since I could walk. I got the scars, dislocated ankles, but most importantly the big luscious booty to prove it.
I know for fluffy girls this might be an issue due to knee problems and the added weight. But I will share my little secret...YOU by crocs, they are awesome. I wore them during a time in my life when I was teaching on my feet 4-6 hours a day, walked four blocks down to MACY*S, worked another 4 hours on my feet, and then went to party it up with no problems (being a little bigger than I am now), hence when I go depression dancing, I wear comfy slut shoes (note: I am not calling them stripper shoes, those kind of shoes are reserved for dance grinding…where you don't really move your feet, just everything else)....Today I am wearing my silver Lauralous' I won at Curves and Chaos (A fellow blogger, who focuses on curvy fashion, please check her site out, she's awesome).

Check me out in tonight's Salsa outfit and tips for you to have an AWESOME fluffyliscious night.

Option 3A. Take a dance partner that is better than you, if possible.  I usually want to be the star, but trust me the better the partner, the more you sweat. Just walking to the car with a good dancer makes me perspire (seriously, what is it with the speed walking; the club will still be there). And to be honest, I don't like anyone being better than me, so my competiveness leads me to move in ways I've never moved before,( you know to keep up pretenses that I'm great and all), and flip in spite of  the fact my ass can't make it over my head ( hence the whole dress over my head thing, I know... I should be ashamed to admit that. But seriously, that skinny tramp was egging me on, and I won't be out done. Thankfully the undies where clean and un-hole-ish, let's just leave it at that.)

Option 3B. If you can't find a good dance partner, take a bunch of girls that are way worse than you. Why the change of heart you ask...well because, if you take a bunch of lousy dancers, you tend to end up being the teacher…and showing off. Ding Ding Ding...you burn more calories.

4. To prevent from collapsing and writhing on the floor like a beached whale due to dehydration, please drink lots of Agua (water). It also aides in keeping that belly less fluffy by keeping your tummy full and regular (if you catch my drift); also if you sub in water instead of alcohol you won't have bloat the next day. I mean have you ever looked at paparazzi’s pictures of models before and after clubbing. The day of, while they are downing their drinks, they look all nice and "healthy", the next day they look tore up and bloated. Couple of days later they end up being ushered into a mental health facility suffering from "dehydration”. Don’t be a model bitch…be a super-hot tranny bitch and hydrate yourself.

5. Think competitive thoughts such as "I'm the main Fluffy bitch up in here…I will not be out danced" (…or take a break until my leg starts cramping) .The more you dance in your slut shoes, the more muscles you tone and inches you lose. Again why put yourself through this torture if their isn't win on your part.

6. This last rule applies to those hesitant....it's really fun...and half the dancer's out there don't know what they're doing. So act as if you're doing it right and Chi-Chi over there is just crazy trying to find her way back to Too Wong Foo. ( no one will really know the difference, just keep your head held up high, looking at a wall as if your partner does not exist...and 1..2..3.. that floor. See example below)



Looking at the wall..makes even a kid look like an expert.



Enjoy Salsa Friday!

Cynthia

the Main Fluffy Bitch in here